The Top Golfstinks Posts of 2009

It may seem longer, but Golfstinks launched the blog "From the Rough" just 5 short months ago. In that time, we've posted content that we hope has made you laugh, think and realize why we love this great game.

We've also gathered a decent following - much of which we owe to the other wonderful writers out there in the golf blogosphere who have supported us through our first few months. There are links to all these great bloggers in our "Blogs We Read" section, at the right side of the page - please pay them a visit. We should note that Golfstinks wishes to give special thanks to Jay over at Devil Ball Golf, Mike over at Ruthless Golf and Patricia over at Golf Girl's Diary - you guys rock!

With all this being said, we'd like to list our top blog posts of 2009 (based on page hits). If you're new to our blog, this is a great way to acclimate yourself to the world of Golfstinks. For all those familiar with us, enjoy reading them (and laughing your ass off) again! Meanwhile, please visit golfstinks.com to learn about the forthcoming site that has inspired this blog.

So, without further adieu, our top 10 blog posts of 2009:

#10: Pimp my Golf Cart - Stinky Golfer Pete pulls together an awesome collection of tricked-out golf cart photos and tells you where to get one of your own!





#9: A Golfer's Dream; How a Regular Guy Played Golf Digest's Top 100 - Stinky Golfer Greg reviews Larry Berle's fascinating book about his real life adventure gaining access to the best courses in America.





#8: Can you Golf Eco-Friendly? - Stinky Golfer Greg jumps on the eco-bandwagon and gives you easy tips on how to golf greener.






#7: Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 2) - Stinky Golfer Pete explores the strange world of golf training aids and suggests some alternative uses for them! Be sure to check out Part 1 too!







#6: Do Golfers Golf on their Off-Days? - Since most amateur golfers golf when they're not working, Stinky Golfer Chris ponders what pro golfers do when they're not working (I think we've since figured out what Tiger does)!



#5: Golf's Proper Place - Stinky Golfer Greg highlights the amazing Bobby Jones and his ability to keep the game of golf in perspective.








#4: How Dangerous Can Golf Be? - Stinky Golfer Chris investigates the perils of being a golfer.





#3: Male-Only Golf Clubs; Sexist Bastards or Constitutional Right? - Stinky Golfer Greg opens up a can of worms with this post on the rights of private clubs vs. the sentiments of the 21st-century.



#2: Do you Play Golf by the Rules? - Stinky Golfer Chris unearths the most "interesting" rules in golf!









#1: Hey, Do you Want to Make this Round More Interesting? - Stinky Golfer Chris takes a look at some of the more popular golf betting games.





Related Posts: The Top Golf Stinks Posts of 2010!

A Few Golf Items Not Under My Tree

Is it just me, or is there always a person or company that just pushes things a bit too far in this capitalist economy? Example: There's been no greater invention in recent memory than the push-up bra. But remember the $2 million, diamond-encrusted creation from a few years back? That's what I'm talking about. What's the point? Who is wearing it and why? Is the $40 push-up from Victoria's Secret not good enough? I know it is for me.

Well, it seems this mind-set extends into the golf world also. Apparently renting a golf cart at the course is not good enough for some. Maybe dropping $2,000-$3,000 on your own personal cart is not quite enough either. No, some people are just not satisfied until they are cruising the fairways in this:

That's right. A Hummer Golf Cart with a body kit officially licensed by General Motors. There's a lift kit, embroidered-leather seats, aluminum rims, wood grain dash, working headlights and turn signals and even a cooler built into the hood. Price: $20,000.

Maybe you prefer to walk the course though. As nice as the above cart may be, you think you get a better feel for the course by walking it. But if you're going to walk that rough golf course terrain, you certainly can't do it in some $350 Nike's. And for one reason or another even the $400 Ecco's just aren't comfortable enough. You need something that is custom built for your foot and your foot alone. Enter John Lobb:

John Lobb Bootmakers will be more than happy to hand-make you this fantastic pair of golf shoes in your choice of calf, crocodile or elephant leathers, for the bargain basement price of only $5,000. Now I'm all for a pair of comfortable shoes, but for that kind of money I had better be able to wear these as everyday shoes and just speak the words "Go, go gadget golf spikes" whenever I'm ready to hit the course. Until then, I'll stick with my Foot-Joy's. On the flip-side though, if they're good enough for James Bond....

What about your clubs? Are those shiny new $1,500 Callaway's not enough to boost your ego or impress your playing partners? Then you may be in need of these:

Honma Golf of Japan will custom make one amazing set of clubs for you. And when I say custom, I'm talking custom like no other. You can choose the head shape, size, weight, grip and shaft. In addition you can also decide just how much 24k gold plating you would like. Would you like some platinum detail? Just ask and it's yours. They would even be happy to engrave your initials on each club. Price on these masterpieces? Roughly $53,000 for a set of fourteen clubs.

A set of clubs like that surely cannot be carried in just any bag, right? Well, that's where French fashion house Louis Vuitton comes in. LV dips their toes into the golf market with this:

Presenting the LV Damier Geant golf bag. It's made of canvas and cowhide, comes with a zip-up hood, it's own cover and even an umbrella. Louie V. also promises "many pockets." For a starting price of $9,750, I'd have to say I was hoping for more. Do canvas and cowhide make this bag worth $9,630 more than my TaylorMade bag? Well I guess since it comes with it's own umbrella....

All of the above accesories, as ridiculous as they may be, are trumped by the following. Ladies and Gentlemen, ladies especially, feast your eyes on this:

Thanks to Tri Mark Golf we are all now blessed with the worlds most expensive golf ball marker. This 18k white gold piece is marked with diamonds, citrine, amethyst and peridot stones. Sound a bit too nice to simply lay down on the ground? Don't worry...it doubles as a necklace. Price: $10,000. And I was floored when I saw custom ball markers for $25!

Last, but certainly not least, is somewhere to use all of these fine accesories. Well, keeping with the theme of things, how about the worlds most expensive round of golf? For that, we'll have to head to Barbados, home of Sandy Lane Spa & Resort.

Sandy Lane is home to three Tom Fazio courses, including the famous Green Monkey. At $385 per round, the course is certainly not the most expensive, but the fees are only part of the story. You see, Green Monkey is open only to guests of the resort. Minimum price for one room for one night? $2,000. Total for one round of golf at Green Monkey - $2,385!

I guess even in these poor economic times, there is still money to be spent foolishly. A $10,000 ball marker? My ball marker comes in denominations of one cent, five cents, ten cents and twenty-five cents - depending upon which coin I pull out of my pocket first. But hey, if you have this kind of money and it's no problem for you to spend it, then enjoy. I don't know that feeling and I'm quite sure I may never know it. But something tells me if I did, I could still find better things to do with $20,000 than spend it on a Hummer golf cart.

Well...., maybe not.

What the Crap is a Slope Rating?

We here at Golfstinks can appreciate playing a round of golf without understanding all the idiosyncrasies of the game that serious players, well, take seriously. But sometimes things that seem inconsequential to you can actually help put this crazy game into better perspective. Thus, I've decided to shed some insight on a golf measure that is rarely understood (or paid much attention to) by the weekend hack: The Slope Rating.

You see it on the score card and think "what's this mean?" and "why do I care?" Well, chances are unless you keep a handicap, you won't know what a slope rating is, nor will you care...but you should and here's why: It's true the slope rating factors into calculating a handicap, but if you don't keep a handicap, it can still be useful. In most basic terms, a slope rating is there to help average hacks like you and me understand how tough a course is.

To give golfers an idea of its difficulty level, the USGA will assign a number (or rating) to each tee box on a course. The higher a rating, the tougher the challenge. The maximum slope rating handed out by the USGA is 155 (average is around 127 from the back tees). Currently, the only course to have a rating of 155 is the Ocean Course at Kiawah Island in South Carolina. It should be noted that Ko'olau Golf Club in Hawaii (pictured) is widely considered one of the toughest courses in the world and previously carried a slope rating of 162 from its back tees - a rating not possible under USGA rules. Ko-olau's current rating from its tips is 152.

Anyway, there are a couple reasons a course has a high slope rating:

First reason: The course is longer. It's been decided that 6,500 -7,000 yards is an average length for a course. Courses shorter than this will usually have a below average slope rating (e.g. less than 127 from the back tees), while courses longer than this will have a higher slope rating than the average.

Second reason: The course has a lot of defenses. Sand traps, water hazards, narrow fairways, high rough, etc. Some or all are usually present to make sure there is a sufficient challenge.

So, the next time you play, take a look at the scorecard for the course's total yardage and slope rating from each tee box. If it's a short course, but has a high slope rating, chances are there are good amount of defenses. If it's long with a low rating, chances are the course is pretty wide open. If it’s a short course with a low rating, the course probably features a windmill and clown's mouth. Finally, if it's long with a high slope, you're most likely at a PGA tour event and are viewing the festivities from behind the yellow rope.

That being said, knowing the slope rating will help you decide which tee boxes to play from and give you an idea of what to expect as far as difficulty. Let’s face it, most stinky golfers will end up playing from the forward (white) tees, but if the course has a really low slope from there (and you feel like giving yourself more of a challenge), you may want to play from the back tees.

As I'm sure many of our readers can confirm, there's nothing worse than a bad golfer playing from the wrong tees. So check out the slope rating and make the appropriate choice based on your skill level.

Please note: The "course rating" is another measure rarely paid much attention to by the average weekend hack...and it should stay that way. This is a measure for scratch golfers and those keeping a handicap.

Pro Athletes, Scratch Golfers

A few months ago I wondered do golfers golf on their days off. Now I'm wondering about other athletes. How many of them golf during their off seasons or after their career is over? We all know the obvious - Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and Rick Rhoden. But we always hear about some football or baseball star who also happens to be a scratch golfer. Is it just me or is that insane? To be able to play your sport at the highest level and in your spare time just happen to be a great golfer also? Amazing. At this point I would be happy to be just a halfway decent golfer!

While there have been no recent two-sport stars involving golf, looking at the latest Golf Digest list of top athlete golfers, there are a few guys out there who would have a legitimate shot if it weren't for golf's Thursday-Sunday tournaments schedule interfering with their sports schedule. Most would have to wait for their career to be over or cut their careers short as Robin Yount almost did back in 1978. For those who didn't know, two-time MVP and MLB Hall-of-Famer Robin Yount actually quit baseball back in the spring of '78 to pursue a career as a professional golfer. The experiment failed and Yount was back with the Milwaukee Brewers a few months later. But how good do you have to be to quit an H.O.F. baseball career to pursue golf full-time?

Looking at the aforementioned list, I'm amazed at some of the names and numbers I see. Right off the bat, #1 ranked Tony Romo, QB for the Dallas Cowboys, has a handicap of +3.3 and won two tournaments in his off-season! As a matter of fact, the top five athletes on the list - Romo, Craig Hentrich, Mark McGwire, Mike Schmidt and Jerry Rice - all have handicaps better than scratch! Now I can see how the latter three have time to work on their games as they are all retired now. But Romo and Hentrich are active NFL players! Do they have that kind of time to get this good?

Scanning through some of the other names, I see that pitcher Livan Hernandez is actually considering golf as a second career after baseball. Although the only info I can find linking Hernandez to golf is when he pulled some golf clubs out of his trunk and attempted to hit a 65-year old man with them. Whether or not that's the case. he's still a scratch golfer.

How about Boston Bruin Marc Savard? He missed qualifying for the 2008 Canadian Open by one stroke. He could have been a real-life Happy Gilmore! Except a better hockey player.

Boston Celtics star Ray Allen is apparently the best golfer in the NBA. Although New Orleans Hornets guard Chris Paul isn't far behind.

There must be something in the water in Minnesota. Twins teamates Joe Mauer, Nick Punto and Joe Nathan are all on the list. They could roundout a foursome with their choice of former Twins stars Harmon Killebrew or Rod Carew who find themselves ranked also.

Apparently Reggie Jackson plays five days a week. Must be nice...

Should I be surprised to see Bo Jackson's name on this list? A guy who was an All-Star in MLB and Pro-Bowler in the NFL until an injury cut both careers short, has a handicap under ten. I should mention he's also a banker and business owner in Illinois. I guess Bo really does know a whole bunch of stuff!

Some time ago, a stinky golfer told me he believes as long as a person has at least a pretty good bit of athletic ability to them, they can be a good golfer. I agree with him. Golf doesn't necessarily require a person to be in top physical condition, however it does require a certain amount of coordination and athletic ability. Some people have to work hard to be good athletes while some others have the gift of a natural ability. Most of the athletes on the list possess that gift. This is what allows them to excel at multiple sports (maybe even professionally) while most of us work hard just to be average at one. I'm comfortable with that, but what I wouldn't give to stand at a podium one day and say:

"It was a tough eighteen. All of the competition was great. I'm just glad I could hold everyone else off at the end. Now I have to run. I'm starting the back end of a double-header tomorrow night."

The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn’t Give A Fat Baby’s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 2)

WARNING: Again...The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me.

Here we go once more with another thrilling and action packed set of challenges for you to enjoy when your spirits are low and your score is high. Behold, a great chance to lift your head out of that cloud of four letter words that include mothers and other profanities that would put you on the bottom of Santa's naughty list. (PS: I'm starting with #4 cuz numbers 1-3 are already taken - You can check it out HERE).

Challenge #4: Beer Cart Heist

Yessiree Bob, just like the title says, jack a beer cart for your round. Accomplish this and consider yourself a motherf-in’ hero! Actually, more of a jackass than hero but, the story would surely get funnier through the years. I guess there is more than one way to approach this challenge. I opt for the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid robbing a train on horse back method. Although, the “hey your back tire is flat” routine always stirs up a good chuckle. DIMT speaking like a pirate while performing this feat adds greater comical value? Well then shiver me timbers you scallywag you.

Justification: hmmm… free beer?

Challenge #5: Golf Terminologizing

Alright, here we have a personal favorite. I like to play with strangers and create words that could be actual golf terms, or at least use made up words and if questioned on the validity of the word reply with either “Wow, these silk boxers feel great!!” or “Ooh, that sure is warm on the leg” and walk away.

Here are some examples:

1. I sliced because my wrists never rondulated.

2. The break in the green seems to extrapify to the left.

3. These terrociuos winds could shorten Daly's drive by fifty yards.

These are some plain examples but you get the point. Hey, where’s the challenge if I give you the good ones. Use your brain for once and stop reading this crap!

Justification: Pure S n’ G.

Challenge #6 Prison Rules Golf

This requires making one in the foursome (obviously not you) your personal servant, or as those residing at Sing Sing prefer to call this act: Making you my bitch. For example, upon completion of a hole you proceed to the cart and declare to your servant: “Yo bitch, you better put that flag in the cup and grabs my ball before I shank you!” DIMT a “bitch” can be traded to another golfer for ten cigarettes?** NOTE: Exchange rate to USD is not readily available nor do I care to find out.

Justification: No real justification.

**We here at golfstinks.com do not promote using tobacco products as currency. We loves us some cold hard cash! So donations would be splendid...

If Golf Carts Could Talk...or Scream

Oh the abuse golf carts take. It's as if we could care less that these things aren't our property. We put our muddy golf shoes all over the cup holders and drive them like Kawasaki ATV's - through the woods and down steep hills like we're in some off-road relay race.

In fact, the golfers that recently provoked a Canadian judge to order the Happy Gilmore swing illegal also nearly drove their cart into a pond during the same round. Usually (as in the Happy Gilmore case) the abuse ensues after a bit of drinking and driving on the course. For example, my friend Dave tells a great story about a twosome he was paired-up with during a golf tournament one time:

Four of us were supposed to play [but] two of the guys canceled so my friend asked if I minded if he invited some "drinking" friends to come along. It was hard for them to secure the full-size cooler in the little basket on the cart - but they managed and after about 8 holes they were both completely lit. There's a hole on the back where the rear of the green slopes down. In an effort to save time, they tried to circle around the back of the green with the cart floored (Yes, all 5 horsepower). The angle was too much and the cart rolled onto the roof amidst screams and a shower of beer cans from the cooler - some of which exploded on contact. It took the 4 of us to get the cart back on its wheels. After the round, we dropped the cart off and got the hell out of there. As I was leaving the parking lot, I could see the grass stains on the roof of the cart!

A quick YouTube search will provide similar antics caught on tape. But drinking isn't always the cause. Some years ago, my friend Tom and I were driving our carts up to the tee on the 15th hole of a public course completely sober. This particular hole's tee box is elevated slightly and, I'm not sure why, but Tom decided to park the cart just below the tee box. Also, he backed in, so the front of the cart was facing the fairway (I guess to make a quick getaway).

Needless to say, Tom hauled-off and ripped a line drive that had uncanny sinking action. The ball headed right for the middle of the cart like a dart for the bulls eye, perfectly split our two golf bags, and then, as if in slow motion, careened through the Plexiglas windshield to leave a softball-sized hole in its wake. Did he do it on purpose? No. But did he want to pay for the windshield? Hell no. We finished our round, parked the cart back at the clubhouse among all the others, and high-tailed it out of there.

Whether you're inebriated or not, it appears the sight of a golf cart conjures up the urge to conduct shenanigans - especially for men - drunk men more so. As if the golf cart was our own personal go-kart in which all responsibility goes out the window when we get behind the wheel. As Stinky Golfer Chris referenced in a previous post, a 2008 study by the University of Alabama at Birmingham found that around 1,000 Americans a month are injured in golf cart accidents. One thousand!

A person associated with the study reported: "A lot of people perceive golf carts as little more than toys, but our findings suggest they can be quite dangerous." This statement hits my earlier point - whether you plan on acting like an ass in a golf cart or not, it seems people look at golf carts as benign toys - they're there to have fun.

But beware. Courses can and will prosecute you if they have your name and can tie you to the cart (for example, if they make you sign the typical rental agreement before giving you the key). The likelihood of prosecution depends on the amount of damage done, but it has happened.

In the meantime, feel free to share your own stories of golf cart high-jinks by commenting below (commenting as "anonymous" is understandable).

Why I Don't Follow the PGA Tour: A Negative Side of "The Tiger Woods Effect"

Quick...who is #2 on the PGA money leaders list? Wrong. He's third. The answer is Steve Stricker. Stricker has played in 23 tournaments, winning four and finishing in the top-10 twelve times while earning over six million dollars in 2009. Sounds like a pretty great season, right? But it would have taken me many guesses before I reached Stricker's name as an answer to the above question. Why? Well, quite honestly, other than hearing his name, I have almost no idea who this guy is.

Steve Stricker could walk into my living room right now and my reaction would probably be to hit him with the closest blunt object and call 911 to report a break-in. How is it possible that this guy is the #2 golfer on the money list right now and I don't know who he is? As far as I'm concerned it's one of the very quiet, and one of the few negative points of the "Tiger Woods effect."

Don't get me wrong. Tiger Woods has been great for golf (PGA golfers especially). His presence has brought much more attention to the game, a whole new audience and a much louder buzz over the past twelve years. Not to mention the increase in prize money for which these guys are playing. Ninety-one players have earned over one million dollars this year, and 144 have earned over a half-million. In large part, they owe this to Tiger.

Take a look at the money leaders in 1996, the last year before Tiger hit the scene - only nine players broke the million dollar mark. Tom Lehman's total of $1.78 million (#1 that year) would currently be ranked 47th. And the number of million-dollar earners has increased almost every year since then, to a high of 104 in 2008! So why don't I know who most of these guys are?

While the above mentioned numbers may be great for a guy like Kevin Streelman (he missed the cut in 10 of the 29 tournaments he entered and finished in the top-10 only twice, but still managed to clear the million-dollar threshold) it may not be good for the tour as a whole. How could that be? Well, the biggest draw (and the reason these numbers are as inflated as they are) has decided to take an indefinite leave of absence from the game.

Now what? Outside of the hardcore golf fans, most people have no idea who Nick Watney is. But he's 12th on the money list with $3.2 million, one win and four top-10's. But the PGA has done such a crappy job of promoting anyone but Tiger and Phil for the past few years that no one can put a name with a face...that is if they even know the name.

The PGA decided to put all of their eggs in one basket. Now that basket is sitting out for an indefinite period. So what's going to happen to those huge galleries? What toll will this take on tournament attendance? Where will all the prize money come from if sponsors pull out? What will be the effect on the general interest of the game? While the PGA should have been promoting the other great players on tour to rest of the sports world, they just weren't. And now, no one knows who these other players are.

This is a similar situation to what happened to heavyweight boxing after the decline of Mike Tyson. We really only knew two or three other heavyweights and once they fell off of the radar, many fans lost interest. Obviously, there were more factors involved with boxing (foreign fighters, pay-per-view, Don King), but you get the idea. So who is going to be the PGA's Evander Holyfield? Is it Phil? Is it Stricker? Or is it going to be someone else we don't yet know? The problem is, they need more than that. They need many Evander Holyfields'.

Whether or not Tiger comes back sooner rather than later, the PGA needs to do a better job in the promotions department. If I can see commercials on TV featuring any number of NFL players and MY WIFE can name them...the NFL has clearly got it figured out. Now I know the NFL is the most watched sport in the U.S., but I can say the same thing about the NBA and MLB. All three leagues do a great job promoting their players. The NFL doesn't have all Tom Brady all the time. The NBA doesn't promote only the games in which Kobe or LeBron are playing. And MLB doesn't flash Derek Jeter's picture every time they have the opportunity.

The PGA needs to follow suit. It's bad enough that golf has that snobbish, sport for the rich, stereotype to it. They need to change that image and they need to make their players more recognizable to the average fan. They need to promote the great players who play this great sport. What if Tiger decides he has enough money, he's played enough golf and he doesn't need to deal with the headaches any longer? What if he walks away entirely? What then?

And while I'm on the subject; it's not just the PGA itself. It's also the sports highlight shows. I know he's the best, but is anyone else sick of seeing three to four minutes of only Tiger, and at the end of the highlight we see one putt by the guy who actually WON the tournament? No wonder nobody knows these guys? They're so busy worried about why Tiger lost that they end up paying minimal attention to the guy who won!

Me personally? I don't care much whether Tiger plays or not. I rarely watch golf on TV and I have only attended two PGA tournaments. I have no vested interest in closely following the tour. What I enjoy is the game itself - heading to the course with my buddies and spending a few hours playing a game we love.

That being said, I might someday follow the tour more closely if the PGA gave me a reason. I'd like to start with knowing who these players are. Maybe if I knew who I was cheering for or why. Give me some background. Create some rivalries other than Tiger vs. Phil or Tiger vs. the flash in the pan or Tiger vs. someone who has never really given Tiger a challenge. Put someone else in a TV commercial or promo. As a matter of fact...put the damn commercials somewhere other than the Golf Channel! Think about it, how often do you see a commercial for a golf product on prime-time TV? There are 50 million golfers in this country! I guarantee some of us are watching prime-time TV!

Until this happens, all I know is Steve Stricker better make sure he has the right house.

World Golf Tour: Online Golf Gaming to the Max

World Golf Tour is an online golf game that simulates some of the best courses in the world. The graphics are awesome and the controls are fairly easy for a PC-based game (nuttin' but mouse - nice n' easy, just how I like it).

I had the pleasure to take on Bethpage Black and open a virtual can of whoop ass on myself. The "feel" of play, especially with the short game, takes some practice to master (just like the real thing) but it's well worth the time spent playing.

What I really like about WGT is the community-based enviroment. You and your buddies can play nine, eighteen or even enter a tourney, all without leaving the comforts of your desk. If you're a golf fanatic you're gonna love this (though you're boss will probably think otherwise).

This game is something every golfer should experience! Check it out HERE and tell'em Golfstinks sent you.

Golf Ball Hell

You can have a nervous breakdown trying to pick out golf balls. I hope I'm not alone in this assessment, but I can literally stand in front of a wall of golf ball boxes for like an hour, trying to figure out which ones I should pick.

Newbies to golf typically will purchase the cheapest options - Top Flite or the like, where $10 can buy you 20 balls. I envy those new golf hacks - the choice is easy for them. $10 for 20? That's a no-brainer. They figure the balls are destined for the drink or lumber yard anyway, so why spend more?

However, I've been playing golf for 20 years. I know why I won't spend $10 for 20 Top Flite's. I'd like to have my ball last more than a hole without scuffs on it, thank you very much. And I'm not a terrible golfer either - I understand what "feel" means when it says "better distance and feel" on the side of the box - I want it to land softly and "hold" the green.

But I also know I'm no "player." I don't "work the ball" too often, I don't really "cut it," or intentionally draw or fade it with much success...So I don't need to spend $45 on a dozen three-piece balls like the Titleist Pro-V1. Yes, I've narrowed it down to the $20 to $30 range for a dozen balls. That's where I'm most comfortable - where I get a decent ball for a decent price. But there are so many options in that price range - which inevitably leaves me standing for an hour in the golf-ball section of my local sporting goods store.

To make matters worse, I just realized there are now more options for me to choose from...Options that I previously ignored when I was shopping for balls: Recycled golf balls. Most golfers intentionally overlook recycled (or refurbished) golf balls for various reasons, but my main reason was that I always heard once balls were submerged in water or out in the elements for a while, quality and distance would be hindered. But a new study done by GolfBallTest.org says otherwise. In their tests, there was virtually no difference between new and recycled balls of the same brand. This is intriguing.

After reading the white paper on the study, I picked up a dozen recycled Nike One balls at Target for $9.99 and played a few rounds with them. I have to say, I was impressed with them - impressed to the point where I will probably buy another box next season. If this study gets some publicity, it may change the golf ball industry!

But another new discovery has me ever more intrigued. There are companies out there that will actually custom fit you with a golf ball...and do it all online no less. GolfBallSelector.com touts "a mix of quantitative and qualitative measures to generate precise [golf ball] recommendations." For just $19.95, you get a one-time fitting to match you with your balls. Interesting. You'll find a similar site at TheRightBall.com. So there's two ways you can look at these golf-ball-fitting sites: Either they're a rip-off and not worth considering; Or your days of wondering what golf ball to use are over.

While one day I may fork-over the 20 bones and take the Golf Ball Selector test, I think for now I'm gonna stick to my recycled Nike balls...at least until another study comes along and shoots the GolfBallTest analysis out of the water. Until then, I am glad to report less of my life will be wasted on choosing golf balls. Hmmm, this post has me thinking - I wonder what grips I should put on my clubs for next season?

Tiger Is Human Afterall

So he cheated. What can you do? Nothing. Is it a crappy thing to do considering you have a wife and kids at home? Sure. Does it happen everyday, all over the world, to regular people like you and I? Absolutely. Does that make it any better? Of course not. But this is the great Tiger Woods. He doesn't make mistakes out on the course, so how could this happen?

People, people, people....everyone is always so quick to anoint athletes as the second coming. We always forget they can screw up...just like the rest of us. They can do wrong...just like the rest of us. They're not perfect...just like the rest of us. As a matter of fact, some of them are just downright horrible people...just like some of the rest of us.

According to a CNN statistic, 80-90% of professional athletes cheat on their wives. I don't know about anyone else, but I am not at all surprised by this statistic. As a matter of fact, I find it a bit hard to believe that it may be as low as 80%. Considering the lives these guys lead, I think many people fail to realize these superstar athletes are just human beings, albeit with superior athletic skills, but human nonetheless. You take a 2o-something year-old kid, sign him to huge contracts and endorsement deals paying him more money in one year than the average person will see in their lives, and that kid begins living a different lifestyle. They are now millionaires. But they are still kids. What do you think is going to happen? These kids are now rich & famous and therefore....more attractive to the opposite sex. They are young and irresponsible and unfortunately, often times are not properly guided. And they get used to it. But what I don't understand is where these guys lose sight of the consequences of their actions. Especially knowing they are in the spotlight. Why wouldn't they make smarter choices?

Look at just some of the names in recent memory. Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Strahan - these guys have all been exposed as cheaters and made to look like scumbags to the general public. Worse in Kobe Bryant's case which ended up with allegations of rape! Although we all now know the allegations were false, Kobe's name will always be tied to that incident. But these are only financial losses and a poor public image. I can name an athlete who I'm sure would be willing to switch places if he could with any of these guys....Steve McNair.

Steve McNair had a 20-year old girl on the side. He lost his life to her in a murder-suicide. Obviously, this is an extreme case, but if it happened to one guy, why not anyone else? But as usual, no one thinks about that ahead of time. I'm sure very few athletes walked away from that news thinking "Man, that could happen to me" then decided to change their ways and actions.

On the flip side, how many of these athletes wives know what's going on? How many let it continue to go on in order to continue to live the glamorous lives which their husbands career allows? I'm going to guess almost all of them. How could it be anything else? Your husband is a rich, famous athlete who is basically a target for groupies who are looking for sex, money and gifts from him. He is on the road, away from you constantly. What do you think is going on? Are these wives foolish for thinking nothing is happening? Or are they foolish for staying and allowing it to continue? If they let it happen, then other than the ring, what's the difference between them and the groupie?

So all of this media coverage leaves me with a few questions. Why is this news so much bigger with Tiger Woods than any other cheating athlete? Is it because he is the richest athlete in the world? Is it because he is a golfer and we expect better of him than an NBA player? Are we supposed to feel bad for Elin and their kids? Or was she aware of his goings on and therefore why should we? If that's the case, should we feel the same anger toward her as we do toward Tiger for putting their kids in this situation?

In my own opinion, I say why should we care? These athletes should be role models for the sport they play....nothing further. None of us turns on Sportscenter to see Tiger Woods sit down for dinner with his family. I don't care if Kobe Bryant is helping his kids with their homework. If these athletes are great family men, that's fantastic. If not, then I feel sorry for their loved ones. But either way, that's not why I'm a fan. I want to see Kobe hit a game-winning jumper as time expires. I want to see Tiger hit a 200-yard shot within inches of the cup. What they do outside of the playing field is not my interest or concern. And unless you are a family member or friend....it shouldn't be yours either.

The more interest we pay to the sports these guys play, and the less attention toward the tabloid side, we will be able to avoid having to listen to all of this any further. Maybe then these people would be able to deal with this in their own home, where it belongs. For goodness sake, if I wanted to hear gossip and learn who's cheating on who, I would watch some god-awful show on MTV.

Tall Tales From The Links; A Hacker's Gripes

For me, golf is a game that involves coordination, concentration, relaxation and inebriation. I do not keep a handicap simply because I don't have the extra time to practice and improve it.

If I have a good round, hit some great golf shots and birdie one or two holes, I'll be the first to tell all my golf buddies and even those that could care less. What I don't understand is why do people feel it necessary to tell fairytales that would rival Hans Christian Andersen.

So...What is it with the piles of horse hooey about incredible and falsified golf feats that must be told? Is it a psychological disorder? Come on, you know that 230 yard drive that turned into a 320 yard monster somewhere between teeing off and hitting the nineteenth hole? For some, the story will stick and take on a snowball effect and actually have others telling it like they were there. And for some, the jury will call the bluff (which yields a greater story) and make the defendant a certified BS'er to his buddies.

Just because the term "lie" is commonly used in golf doesn't mean you should do it. I think almost every golfer has played a round with someone like this. The best is when a stranger joins your group, you offer to keep score and they end up being "that guy." At first, you take the verbal diarrhea they are unloading into consideration and think; "Huh, maybe." Then the signs start to become more visible. The extra shot to get out of the rough that you saw because they thought you weren't looking. The two chip shots to get on the green because the first one was fat. The three putt. And finally "Put me down for a five..." Oh come on!

Pondering what just happened while heading in for a refreshment, you spot this friggin' liar entering his info into the GHIN computer. Is this really happening? This mf'er has the balls and mentality to convince him/herself they actually shot that round. You know what? Check that person's pockets when they leave, I bet they ripped the restaurant off for condiments.

I feel better now...until the next gripe: Hit'em hard and yell fore!

Why Golf is Unique

As you watch your short-iron approach shot drift to the right of the 18th green, your initial reaction is calm. After all, we’ve been taught as golfers to think positive. As the ball’s in flight, your mind chases away any concern by predicting you will have a short pitch to the dance floor and a nice one-putt to save par.

Alas, this is not the course you played last week. And where that 18th green welcomed you with short rough to its right flank, this one mocks you with a small pond. In an instant, your ball is wet, your hopes for par are dashed, and you’re hit with the realization that golf is not like other sports.

You see, unlike other sports, no two golf courses are exactly alike. Sure, baseball fences vary, but it’s still 90 feet to first base in every major league park. Football, basketball, hockey and soccer field dimensions are even more uniform, fitting exact specifications no matter where you are.

But in golf, the diameter of greens are never the same. Some are smaller, some are bigger and rarely are they perfectly round. Not to mention, the pin is never in the same position. Can you imagine if some football field end-zones were only 5 yards deep instead of 10? What if the goal post width varied - on some fields they would be 18’ 6” wide, while others would use college football widths (23’ 4”)? For fun, I’d like to see the NFL have their goal posts on hydraulics and move them around the end-zones at random during the game (sometimes you’d be kicking to the back, right corner of the end-zone to a goal post 20 feet wide, while other times you’d be kicking to the front left, with a goal post of 15 feet wide). Hey, that may increase the kicker’s reputation in the sport somewhat!

What about distances? In golf, you can have a 360-yard par 4 on one hole, and a 428-yard par 4 on the next. Par 3’s can be even more extreme. Believe me, when you’re an average hack like I am, there’s a huge difference between a 145-yard par 3, and a 205-yard par 3. Let’s apply that to basketball: It’s 13 feet from the free-throw line to the front of the rim. What if some courts adjusted that to 16 feet? Better yet, maybe some teams have great three-point shooters, so they decide to move the three-point line back a few steps - I’d say that’d cause a bit of a stir.

Hazards? Sand traps, reservoirs, trees, etc. Each golf course has its own challenges and aesthetics. Courses will feature an unimaginable amount of things to keep you from shooting low and, every course presents them in different layouts and styles. A shot you make one day with favorable results, can spell disaster the next day on different course.

Can you imagine if the NHL added a position player to each starting line-up just to go out there and check other players? These guys wouldn’t carry a stick, and wouldn’t be allowed to touch the puck - their sole job would be to slam dudes into the boards in an effort to disrupt the other team’s offense. OK, hockey may not be too far from actually implementing that rule, but this is what golfers face all the time (albeit minus the head trauma) - we hit what we think is a good shot and BAM! A bad kick and our ball careens off into the woods and out-of-bounds - instead of a missing tooth, we have a missing ball and a two-stoke penalty.

Baseball may come the closest - the pitcher must think about every pitch (like the golfer does for every shot). Just a slight flaw in mechanics can be met with disastrous results. And the pitcher has different batters he must navigate around (like golfers have to navigate different holes), and every one of them can be tamed, as long as he executes his pitch (similar to executing a golf shot).

But golf’s uniqueness remains steadfast. Only a very few number of athletes get to compete in professional baseball - most of us with an inkling to play-on are relegated to beer-league softball, where we no longer have to execute a pitch with such preciseness. But golf is unique. We golfers compete till late in life - long after our prime in other sports has passed.

Yet the strategizing, yardage calculations and other course management routines continue in our heads for every shot we take - no matter if we possess a scratch handicap or one above 30. It’s amazing, actually, for a sport to be dominated by players that aren’t very good at it, yet still take the game very seriously - and that, perhaps above all else, is why golf is one of the most unique sports in history.